3 ways to earn respect as a manager (that actually work)

How to earn the respect from your peers

I used to feel like no-one in my team respected me. It felt like every time I ran a meeting, set a deadline or asked for something to be done, they didn’t care.

But in hindsight - it was 100% a me problem. I didn’t respect or trust my own leadership - so how on earth could I expect my team to?

But over the years, trying and failing, and observing some of the greatest leaders in the game, I eventually felt a reciprocated level of respect between my team and me.

So today I want to show you four simple ways I’ve seen over and over again to build trust and respect between a manager and their team.

Some of these things I know work because I’ve done them myself - but others, I watched great leaders do it and earn my respect.

When we have the respect of our team, the rest of it (hitting deadlines, KPI meetings etc) becomes easy.

I’ve tried to break these into super simple actions you can do this week.

Let’s dive in.

#1 Ask them for feedback

Sounds simple, but our team will usually have pent-up fears, worries and annoyances that they don’t feel they have the space to say.

We love to avoid our blind spots, and I know it can hurt getting difficult feedback. But it shows your team that you can TAKE feedback, making them have much more respect when you GIVE it.

Not only that, but you get to learn about your blind spots to grow and improve.

Ask your entire team these 2 questions…

“What is one thing about the way I manage you that you think I should never change?”

“If there was one thing you could change about the way I manage you, what would it be?”

Ask them to book in 10 mins with you later this week and bring the answers to those questions.

#2 Really listen (3 poker chips)

It’s SHOCKING how many managers talk talk talk. Even in 1-on-1s where the subject should be entirely their team member.

I’ve seen it over and over, team members can’t get a word in edgeways.

OR (and potentially worse), they do get the space to speak, but you spend the whole conversation thinking about what you’re going to say next (instead of listening).

Really listening involves making notes, asking questions and being present to understand what they’re trying to tell you. Not leaving the conversation until you’ve truly heard them.

The best place to practice this is in meetings. Introduce the meeting, and explain you’re gonna take a backseat. Then give yourself 3 metaphorical poker chips.

Each time you speak, you use a chip. It’ll be tough, but fight the urge to intercept every conversation and tell them your ideas. Just be quiet and give them the floor.

Make notes throughout, and at the end, do a round-up of their thoughts and actions. That way you’ll not only be really listening, but show them you are too.

#3 Forget instant approval

Seeking instant approval is the opposite of earning respect.

Seeking approval looks like…

1. Not giving the difficult feedback because we’re worried it will hurt someone’s feelings

2. Joining in with gossip because we don’t want to be awkward and call it out

3. When something goes wrong in your team, in front of your seniors you blame the person who made a mistake. Winning the approval of your seniors in the moment.

Earning respect in the same situations…

1. Giving the feedback, in the moment, no sugar coating, so the message is heard properly and the person can learn and grow

2. When someone comes to you with gossip, saying ‘I think you should speak to the person about this, they would want to know’ or simply “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this” - Even if it’s awkward.

3. When something goes wrong - Leaders take the blame. When something goes right - Leaders shine the spotlight on others.

I want to hear from you

Respond to this email once you have taken action this week - I want to hear exactly how it went

Peace,

H

P.S. We’ve just finished cohort 1 of Fresh Start: Teammate to highly respected leader in 6 weeks, the testimonials have started flying in.

If you want to join us for Cohort 2 in September - Get your name on the waitlist to get the early bird discounts.