Do you have the courage to be disliked?

I spent the first 25 years of my life being a rampant people pleaser. That doesn't make me special. You’d struggle to find anyone on earth who doesn't feel like they do things they don’t want to do, at the expense of their own sanity, for fear of letting others down or being disliked.

One of the most valuable journeys I’ve been on over the last few years, is the journey of saying no to protect my own head.

So each time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. 

For me, this is how the conversation in my head now goes….

• If you’re saying yes to a Saturday night out drinking, you’re saying no to your Sunday morning run

• If you’re saying yes to taking on an extra project at work, you’re saying no to the hours you could be spending with your mum or loved ones

• If you’re saying yes to buying a new jacket, you’re saying no to investing that money into your future OR into a therapy session

You get the gist. By saying yes to something, you are ALWAYS, always, always, saying no to something else.

Sometimes going out with your friends is more important than your Sunday run. But the art here, is in figuring out what you’re saying yes, and what you’re saying no to, and deciding which of the things is more important to you right now.

My advice, don’t say yes to something to please your boss or friends, or to get a quick dopamine hit, if it means saying no to the things that keep you intrinsically fulfilled.

I spent WAY too long trying to please everyone, at the detriment of myself, and ultimately being unkind to those around me.

But here’s the real exciting bit… I’ve now realised it’s IMPORTANT for some people to dislike you and your ideas. If you’re pleasing everyone, you aren’t being true to yourself. 

When people dislike you and judge your choices, ask yourself, are they aligned with my values?

And if they’re not, then thank god they dislike you.