How to run successful 1on1s

My exact method

Hey team,

It’s December?! This time of year always feels so reflective for me.

Not in a pushy “we need to set some huge goals” kind of way, but more in a “I’m really ready to take a step back and assess what’s worked well and what didn’t” kinda way. I promise I won’t be super preachy as we cross over into 2026, but I will be encouraging you to take some time to reflect. More of that in a few weeks anyway.

So getting reflective, I thought to myself… I have the absolute honour of spending day in day out with incredible managers, and if there’s one thing I WISH every manager understood, what would it be?
And here’s my raw answer:
Those 1:1s you keep cancelling because they feel like admin, or they feel unhelpful or boring, are actually the secret to eventually unlocking long term leadership success.

They are the real work. I know they seem like a time sucker, but I need us to start seeing 1on1s as the moment the outside world stops and you get to sit down with another human being and say: “Right. What’s actually going on here?”

And when you do that intentionally, every 90 days in my case, you prevent so many of the escalations, confusion, anxiety, and resentment that quietly build inside teams.

This year I’ve worked with numerous team who’ve finally admitted something most managers already know deep down: Their difficult conversations aren’t happening early enough. Or clearly enough. Or at all.

But done well, 1on1s prevent the last-minute PIPs, the escalations, the resentment… all of it.

A quarterly 1on1 is like taking your team for a proper MOT. Lift the bonnet. Look at the engine. Catch the issues early. Your team runs smoother because you dared to open the lid instead of waiting for the warning lights

And luckily for you, I have now spent years testing and refining this system, testing the questions, the frequencies and more, so it’s now literally plug and play ready for you to start using.

So today, I’m laying out my 4 step 1on1 system. But let’s address some KEY mistakes managers are making with 1on1s (so you can stop making them)

The big mistakes

These are the traps almost every manager falls into at some point:

1. Saving everything for an annual appraisal.
   This is the equivalent of storing every thought, feeling and frustration in a cupboard all year… then opening the door and letting it all fall on someone at once. Feedback, praise and course-correction given 12 months late is basically useless.

2. Assuming our team’s priorities are the same as ours.
   We project our values onto them. You might care about promotions, pay rises and pace, but they might prioritise creativity, stability or simply not burning out. When those expectations aren’t aligned, frustration builds on both sides.

3. Saying “my door is always open.”
   It sounds supportive, but it puts all the pressure on them. Most people won’t “bother” their manager unless something is on fire. They need structure not vague permission.

The method

To build a team that runs smoothly, you need a steady cadence of these conversations. Here’s the rhythm I use with every company I work with (and my own):

• Every year: Salary review

For growing companies (especially under 30 people), I actually recommend doing this every 6 months, because roles shift and responsibilities evolve quickly. The aim of a salary review isn’t surprise promotions or last-minute negotiation. It’s to make sure your team member is paid fairly, feels valued, and has a clear space to discuss their wins and their impact.

Here’s the exact agenda I use for this session.

• Every 90 days: In-depth 1:1

This is your “lift the bonnet” conversation. A proper deep-dive into performance, goals, values, strengths, worries and expectations. This is the most important 1on1 in my opinion. I’d highly advise you schedule your first ones with your team for Dec/Jan.

You can use my full agenda to run this smoothly. If you follow it, nothing important gets missed.

• Every 2 weeks: 20/30-minute check-in

No formal agenda. No slides. No big preparation. Just time held in the calendar with three simple rules:

1. It lives in the calendar every two weeks.

2. You (the leader) NEVER cancel it. The team member can, life happens, but you don’t. You have to show them they are your priority.

3. It’s a protected space for any topic that matters: feedback, workload, clarity, emotions, support, tensions, ideas. This is how you keep things light, clean, and honest instead of letting them build up.

• Every day: Praise and difficult conversations

This is the part most managers skip. Praise people when you see good work, in the moment, not months later. And when something isn’t right, challenge it early. Immediately if possible.

Don’t bottle it up. Don’t discourage emotion. And please, never ignore the difficult conversations. They only grow teeth when you avoid them.

You got this 👏

Peace,

H x

P.S. If reading this made you realise your team needs stronger systems, clearer communication, or a braver culture next year, my calendar is now open for team training and leadership training workshops from March 2026 onwards.

Enquire today.