Hey team! Happy Tuesday,
Yesterday I ran a session for a newly promoted management team at a large law firm, and the same question dominated the anonymous Q&A:
‘I’ve just been promoted, now I’m managing my friends, what do I do?’
Let me tell you an important part of my story.
It was late 2020 when I got the news, I was stepping into the role of Operations Director at GoProposal.
At the time, we were a small but mighty team of 12, and I was buzzing. The title, the pay rise, it felt like the reward for years of graft. I’d done it.
Then Monday rolled around. The announcement was made. And that’s when the panic set in.
This was real now. I wasn’t just part of the team anymore; I was fully leading it. These weren’t just colleagues; they were my friends.
The ones I shared drinks with, shared inside jokes with. And now, I was the one responsible.
The operational side? Fine. Processes? No problem.
But managing a team of people who, just last week, were some of my closest friends? That was something else entirely.
Suddenly, I felt like:
I had to prove I was worth listening to
They were all secretly thinking, who does she think she is? (they weren’t)
I learned the hard way… but you don’t have to.
In fact, this exact scenario, going from ‘mate’ to ‘manager’, is one we coach managers through inside Fresh Start. Scripts, frameworks, and live practice on how to handle those conversations without losing your confidence or your friendships.
Doors open again in ONE WEEK (eek). There are only 150 spaces, don’t miss your chance to join us. Join the waitlist.
But let me share some immediate reflections…
The 5 actions that helped me go from ‘mate’ to ‘manager’
Be curious
“Take time to be interested, not interesting”
A lot of the imposter syndrome I held in this situation comes from the fact I felt as though I needed to know all the answers. Like somehow being the ‘boss’ means we have to know everything. Give yourself 30-days to ask questions, don’t give any answers, just listen.Stop hiding
I had a tactic where I’d always sharing a few insecurities of mine with my team. As soon as you say an insecurity out loud, it loses half of it’s power.
It also brings your team closer to you and helps them come along this journey of progression with you.
You don’t need to share all the gory details, but something like
“It feels a little strange for me, going from your peer to your manager, and it’s an entirely new feeling that I’m currently figuring out. So if you feel the same or have any questions, I’m an open book so let’s talk it out”Growth > Perfection
I stopped focusing on being right, and only focused on getting better.
That way, if I f*ked up, it didn’t matter.
When we seek growth, we’re not as bothered about being perfect.
You instead figure out what learning needs to happen and lean into it.
The pressure loosens.It’s gonna be scariest at the beginning
The 1st time you have a difficult conversation with them will be hard.
The 10th time will feel like second nature.
The 1st time you have to set new rules, you’ll be shaking and nervous at the announcement.
The 10th time, you’ll go in there like a confident machine like the incredible leader you are.We’re not put on this earth to be liked by everyone
Being a manager means making tricky decisions that might piss people off
So guess what most people do? They try win the approval of as many as possible, and just never make a decision. Never grow and move forward.
So long as you’re being kind, acting in the best interest of your business and team… It doesn’t matter if you don’t win the instant approval. Because you will win the long-term respect.
Final truth
The final truth is, you don’t need to change all that much.
You’ve been given the position ‘manager’ because of who you are right now.
You don’t need to become 10x better or change into a new persona overnight.
You are enough exactly as you are.
Which number do you need to work on most? Let’s chat in the comments 👇
Peace,
H
P.S. Thanks for bearing with the Fresh Start promos, I know it’s been more emails than usual, but Fresh Start truly changes lives and I can’t help but shout about it.
If you’re joining us next week, I can’t wait to see you inside. If not, just one more week until we’re back to regular programming! ♥️ Appreciate you.
P.P.S Most companies WANT to invest in their managers AND love it when managers take the initiative to seek out development. Use this template to ask.