Hey team, happy Tuesday
I’m writing this just as I head off for a 3-day hiking and camping trip in the Norwegian fjords. Completely off-grid. No WiFi, no emails, no endless scroll.
I love these kinds of trips because they force a reset. My brain runs at 100mph most of the time (probably like yours too).
So once a year, I make myself step away. Because when the noise of the online world fades, the important things come into sharper focus: clarity, perspective, and the space to think about what really matters.
And feedback is the same.
When you strip away the noise, the defensiveness, the emotions, the stories we build in our heads, what’s left is clarity.
In the past 10 years of management roles, growing a SaaS company, and teaching 300+ students in my course, I’ve come to realise that a lot of issues around delivering feedback to sensitive team members can be solved if you remember one thing:
And true, direct, honest clarity is always going to be your feedback secret sauce.
The shift I had to make
I used to dread giving feedback. Especially to people who I knew would take it personally.
One small piece of constructive feedback and suddenly it was tears, defensiveness, or a complete shutdown.
So I avoided it. Or I sugar-coated it. Or I tried to “sandwich” it between two positives. (Sound familiar?)
But all that did was make me vague, unclear, and sometimes even unfair. I thought I was protecting them, but I was actually just protecting myself from feeling uncomfortable.
The shift came when I realised this: Feedback will feel like an attack when we blur the person with the behaviour
You’re not saying: “You’re lazy, you’re careless, you’re not good enough.”
You’re saying: “This specific behaviour has this specific impact.”
It’s not about their worth. It’s about their work.
“Stop making it me vs. you. Start making it us vs. the problem.”
When feedback feels like a personal battle (manager vs. employee) people naturally put their guard up. They hear blame. They prepare to defend themselves.
But when you frame it as a shared challenge you’re solving together, the energy shifts. You’re no longer opponents in a fight. You’re teammates tackling the same issue side by side.
That’s what turns feedback from confrontation into collaboration.
A quick framework
If you want something simple to lean on, here’s my 4P’s Framework I teach for handling tough conversations:
Purpose – Why are you having this conversation? What’s the outcome?
Problem – State the specific issue, clearly and neutrally.
Proof – Share evidence so it’s not just your opinion.
Path – Show what happens next, and how you’ll solve it together.
And this is just the surface.
Inside Fresh Start, we go way deeper. You’ll get:
Word-for-word scripts for the tough moments managers usually avoid
Roleplays and real-world scenarios so it actually sticks
Frameworks you can lean on when emotions run high and the room gets tense
So you’re never left second-guessing or thinking “what do I even say here?”
If you want to walk into every conversation with confidence and the exact tools you need, join the waitlist today.
Speak soon,
H