"I went from mate to manager, what needs to change?"

7 things I wish I'd done sooner

Growing pains

It was October 2020, and I’d just received the news - I was being promoted to ‘Operations Director’ at GoProposal.

Back then, we were a tight-knit team of 12. I was thrilled about the new title, the raise - after years of hard work, it felt like I’d finally made it.

Then Monday came. After the team announcement, reality hit... and so did the dread.

I realised I actually had to do this now. Eek. These people weren’t just colleagues - they were my peers, my friends, the ones I’d shared drinks and secrets with. Now, suddenly, I had to manage them.

Handling processes, added responsibilities, the technical side of the role? No problem. But leading a team of 11 people who, just last week, were my mates - that was a different story.

I’d actually done this transition once before with one person when I'd moved into a marketing manager role, but this time felt serious. More people more to get wrong.

I felt like:

• I had to prove I was worthy of listening to

• They thought “who is she to tell me what to do'“ (they didn’t)

I was in the Ops Director role for 3 years, and in the end:

• We had 100% team retention

• We had incredible results

• My salary tripled

All because of the results I was having with this particular team. 

I figured this out the hard way, but imma tell you all you need to know in less than 400 words…

Here’s 7 things that worked the best for me going from ‘peer’ to ‘manager’

1. Be curious

   “Take time to be interested, not interesting”
   A lot of the imposter syndrome I held in this situation comes from the fact I felt as though I needed to know all the answers. Like somehow being the ‘boss’ means we have to know everything.
   Give yourself 30-days to ask questions, don’t give any answers, just listen.
   

2. Stop hiding
   I had a tactic where I’d always sharing a few insecurities of mine with my team. As soon as you say an insecurity out loud, it loses half of it’s power.
   It also brings your team closer to you and helps them come along this journey of progression with you.
   You don’t need to share all the gory details, but something like
   “It feels a little strange for me, going from your peer to your manager, and it’s an entirely new feeling that I’m currently figuring out. So if you feel the same or have any questions, I’m an open book so let’s talk it out”
   

3. Pledge your allegiance
   Your team need to trust that you’re on their side. That you have their best interests at heart, that you’re going to find them new opportunities and advocate for them when they’re not in the room.
   Now’s time to dig out the suggestion box, and just like when Ted Lasso increased the shower pressure for Roy Kent, try to fulfil one wish of each person.
   
   (If you’re confused on the reference because you haven’t watched Ted Lasso you’re seriously missing out).

4. Growth > Perfection

   I stopped focussing on being right, and only focussed on getting better.
   That way, if I f*ked up, it didn’t matter.
   When we seek growth, we’re not as bothered about being perfect.
   You instead figure out what learning needs to happen and lean into it.
   The pressure loosens.
   Ultimately you’ll become way less scared of failure, and stop letting that fear hold you back from all the growth you deserve.

5. It’s gonna be scariest at the beginning
   The 1st time you have a difficult conversation with them will be hard.
   The 10th time will feel like second nature.
   The 1st time you have to set new rules, you’ll be shaking and nervous at the announcement.
   The 10th time, you’ll go in there like a confident machine and command the room like the incredible leader you are.
   
   But you can’t get to the brilliant 10th time without doing the bad 1st.
   So you need to just feel the fear and get the first 1st one over with.

6. We’re not put on this earth to be liked by everyone
   Being a manager means making tricky decisions that might piss people off
   So guess what most people do? They try win the approval of as many as possible, and just never make a decision. Never grow and move forward.
   
   I had to regularly remind myself, we absolutely cannot excel in our work and life if we’re afraid of being disliked.
   So long as you’re being kind, acting in the best interest of your business and team… It doesn’t matter if you don’t win the instant approval. Because you will win the long term respect.

7. Final truth

   The final truth is, you don’t need to change all that much.
   You’ve been given the position ‘manager’ because of who you are right now.
   You don’t need to become 10x better overnight.
   You are enough exactly as you are.

   You don’t need to magically become someone else now you’re a manager.
   

Which number do you need to work on most? Let’s chat in the comments 👇

Peace,

H