Hey team! Happy Tuesday
Bit of a personal update for me! You may have seen my Instagram update, but… I got engagedddd. Wooop. This was actually back in November, but I’m finally ready and excited to show you some of the journey.
I’m writing to you today from sunny Seville (sorry to anyone reading back at home), we fell in love with the city when we visited last year, and now we’re back scoping out our wedding venue. Eek.
I’m writing to you today about something I’ve actually covered before more than once, however, I’ve been running some webinars lately (thank you if you’ve already joined), and one of the most recurring questions in the Q&A has been..
”I’ve been promoted, I now manage my friends, what do I do”
OR “Can I be friends with my team”
So I want to discuss it with you today from a slightly different angle…
Growing pains
It was late 2020 when I got the news - I was stepping into the role of Operations Director at GoProposal.
At the time, we were a small but mighty team of 12, and I was buzzing. The title, the pay rise - it felt like the reward for years of graft. I’d done it.
Then Monday rolled around. The announcement was made. And that’s when the panic set in.
This was real now. I wasn’t just part of the team anymore - I was leading it. These weren’t just colleagues; they were my friends. The ones I shared drinks with, shared inside jokes with. And now, I was the one responsible for them.
The operational side? Fine. Processes? No problem. But managing a team of people who, just last week, were some of my closest friends? That was something else entirely.
Suddenly, I felt like:
I had to prove I was worth listening to
They were all secretly thinking, who does she think she is? (they weren’t)
I learned the hard way - but you don’t have to. Here’s everything you need to know, in less than 400 words.
I also put alllll of this inside a 6 minute YouTube video, you should watch it (or keep scrolling if you’d prefer to read)
Here’s 7 things that worked the best for me going from ‘peer’ to ‘manager’
Be curious
“Take time to be interested, not interesting”
A lot of the imposter syndrome I held in this situation comes from the fact I felt as though I needed to know all the answers. Like somehow being the ‘boss’ means we have to know everything.
Give yourself 30-days to ask questions, don’t give any answers, just listen.Stop hiding
I had a tactic where I’d always sharing a few insecurities of mine with my team. As soon as you say an insecurity out loud, it loses half of it’s power.
It also brings your team closer to you and helps them come along this journey of progression with you.
You don’t need to share all the gory details, but something like
“It feels a little strange for me, going from your peer to your manager, and it’s an entirely new feeling that I’m currently figuring out. So if you feel the same or have any questions, I’m an open book so let’s talk it out”Pledge your allegiance
Your team need to trust that you’re on their side. That you have their best interests at heart, that you’re going to find them new opportunities and advocate for them when they’re not in the room.Growth > Perfection
I stopped focussing on being right, and only focussed on getting better.
That way, if I f*ked up, it didn’t matter.
When we seek growth, we’re not as bothered about being perfect.
You instead figure out what learning needs to happen and lean into it.
The pressure loosens.
Ultimately you’ll become way less scared of failure, and stop letting that fear hold you back from all the growth you deserve.It’s gonna be scariest at the beginning
The 1st time you have a difficult conversation with them will be hard.
The 10th time will feel like second nature.
The 1st time you have to set new rules, you’ll be shaking and nervous at the announcement.
The 10th time, you’ll go in there like a confident machine and command the room like the incredible leader you are.
But you can’t get to the brilliant 10th time without doing the bad 1st.
So you need to just feel the fear and get the first 1st one over with.We’re not put on this earth to be liked by everyone
Being a manager means making tricky decisions that might piss people off
So guess what most people do? They try win the approval of as many as possible, and just never make a decision. Never grow and move forward.
I had to regularly remind myself, we absolutely cannot excel in our work and life if we’re afraid of being disliked.
So long as you’re being kind, acting in the best interest of your business and team… It doesn’t matter if you don’t win the instant approval. Because you will win the long term respect.Final truth
The final truth is, you don’t need to change all that much.
You’ve been given the position ‘manager’ because of who you are right now.
You don’t need to become 10x better overnight.
You are enough exactly as you are.You don’t need to magically become someone else now you’re a manager.
Which number do you need to work on most? Let’s chat in the comments 👇
Peace,
H