Hey team, happy Tuesday,
I need to tell you about an experience I had last week
I was working with a leadership team who had just promoted two new managers. After the call, one of them asked to jump on a quick 1:1 with me and said, a bit sheepishly:
“I’m younger than everyone I manage. I feel like I have something to prove, but I don’t know how.”
And it dawned on me that I’ve heard some version of that line hundreds of times.
And truthfully, it can mess with your head. It for sure messed with mine. Feeling inferior, as though you have something to prove, unsure if you’ll ever measure up.
I wanted so badly to prove I deserved to be there. But in doing that, I slipped into the trap most new managers fall into… the performance of leadership, not the practice of it.
I second-guessed simple decisions.
I softened feedback that needed to be firm.
I filled the silence with explanations to sound more credible.
The irony was, the harder I tried to look like a manager, the less I acted like one.
There was a period where I’d leave meetings overanalysing every facial expression, convinced I’d said something wrong. I let my confidence shrink to fit the comfort of others.
It took me a while to realise they weren’t the problem. My mindset was.
I had to stop trying to earn my place and start owning it.
And eventually, once I stopped performing leadership and started living it, everything changed. The energy in meetings, the way people responded, the way I responded to myself.
So here’s the plan give managers who need to be taken seriously in the next 30 days, (So you don’t need to waste as many years as I did).
Week 1: You don’t have to prove it.
Take a breath. You’ve already earned your spot. You don’t need to change overnight and become someone new.
Your job now is to own it.
Don’t start this chapter trying to convince everyone you’re capable. Start by being capable.
This week is about small, visible signals that say “I’ve got this” without you having to announce it.
Here’s what to do instead:
Take control of the basics. Lead your first team meeting with a clear agenda, even if it’s short. End it with next steps and owners for each action.
Follow through fast. If you promise to do something (even small), do it the same day. People remember.
Show up prepared. I truly believe preparation is the quietest form of authority. Walk into every meeting knowing what decisions need to be made and what success looks like by the end.
Be steady. No overreacting when things go off-plan. Your calm will say more than any “I’m confident” ever could.
Week 2: Give respect before you expect it back.
You don’t get taken seriously by being loud and changing things, you get taken seriously by being curious, respecting other’s experience and bringing out their value.
Ask for their input, not to please them, but to understand them.
“You’ve seen a few versions of this before. I’d love to know what worked, and what didn’t?”
Respect given builds respect returned.
Week 3: Small wins, big message.
By now, they’re watching how you lead under pressure. This is the week to prove you’re not here to blend in. You’re here to move things forward.
Pick one frustration everyone talks about (too many meetings, messy handovers, no clarity on tasks). Fix it. Or at least take the first visible step.
Announce it simply:
“Here’s what wasn’t working. Here’s what we’re trying. Let’s see if this gets us moving faster.”
It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It just needs to show that under your leadership, things get better.
Week 4: Give the feedback
Here’s where you lock it in. This week is about doing the scariest bit of managing, having the dreaded tough conversation with someone you’re feeling a little insecure about managing.
Give that piece of feedback you’ve been avoiding to the team member you’re the most worried about. Use my 4P’s framework to have the conversation.
Final thoughts
Being taken seriously isn’t something you wait for. It doesn’t come with years of experience or a title. It’s something you decide to earn and own, one action at a time.
Do you feel you’re taken seriously as a manager? Let’s chat in the comments
Peace,
H x