This pain is so real! I designed an accelerator for new head teachers and this came up time and time again! Whatever the industry, a universal human truth.
When I first got a “team leader” role 13 years ago, one of my best mates at work stopped talking to me! In truth that issue was resolved with a pint in a north-east London boozer.
3 things that helped beyond; vulnerability (like heather mentioned of course!); curiosity and a “what do you need from me”; radical candor - credit, care and direct honesty when it mattered. Oh one more - don’t immediately switch to being a purist party line. If you don’t agree - say it candidly and that you’re pushing on why we’re making a particular decision as an org!
Amy, I absolutely LOVE this! Especially your point about not suddenly becoming a spokesperson for every decision the organisation makes. I think that's where so many new managers lose the trust of their former peers. You can support a decision while still being honest about the questions you've raised. And sometimes a pint really is the answer 😂 Thanks so much for sharing!
what a great list to go through. You're spot on on all seven points. It reminds me of what Maxwell said in his five levels of leadership: in that third level of production, you're taking that relationship and you're growing and stretching and risking that relationship because you're right. You're not there to be liked by everybody or be everybody's friends. You're leading, which is the action of taking somebody and doing something more or going somewhere with them. It's challenging, but it's good, and it's not for everybody.
Thank you Dana! I love this way of putting it. That shift from protecting the relationship to being willing to stretch it is such a big part of becoming a great manager. You can care deeply about people and still challenge them, hold the standard and lead them somewhere they might not have gone on their own. Really appreciate you sharing this 😊
This pain is so real! I designed an accelerator for new head teachers and this came up time and time again! Whatever the industry, a universal human truth.
When I first got a “team leader” role 13 years ago, one of my best mates at work stopped talking to me! In truth that issue was resolved with a pint in a north-east London boozer.
3 things that helped beyond; vulnerability (like heather mentioned of course!); curiosity and a “what do you need from me”; radical candor - credit, care and direct honesty when it mattered. Oh one more - don’t immediately switch to being a purist party line. If you don’t agree - say it candidly and that you’re pushing on why we’re making a particular decision as an org!
Amy, I absolutely LOVE this! Especially your point about not suddenly becoming a spokesperson for every decision the organisation makes. I think that's where so many new managers lose the trust of their former peers. You can support a decision while still being honest about the questions you've raised. And sometimes a pint really is the answer 😂 Thanks so much for sharing!
Hah for sure on the pint! I like to think it’s the true pit town northerner in me. Old habits die hard.
This is so helpful! Thanks for this!
Ahhh I’m so glad it was helpful! Thanks so much for saying that ☺️
what a great list to go through. You're spot on on all seven points. It reminds me of what Maxwell said in his five levels of leadership: in that third level of production, you're taking that relationship and you're growing and stretching and risking that relationship because you're right. You're not there to be liked by everybody or be everybody's friends. You're leading, which is the action of taking somebody and doing something more or going somewhere with them. It's challenging, but it's good, and it's not for everybody.
Thank you Dana! I love this way of putting it. That shift from protecting the relationship to being willing to stretch it is such a big part of becoming a great manager. You can care deeply about people and still challenge them, hold the standard and lead them somewhere they might not have gone on their own. Really appreciate you sharing this 😊